Sorry the blog has been quiet lately! In all honesty that is probably how it will be, exciting spurts of info followed by a lull. Just too many things to keep up with.
This new path we are taking will lead us to the Democratic Republic of Congo! Like I posted before, Haiti is starting to make many changes concerning it's Hague status. They are currently closed to accepting new dossiers. They were supposed to open on August 1st. That did not happen and they do not know when they will open, September they are thinking. Scary! Just too many unknowns at this time to proceed with that country. There will always be uncertainty with adoption, but we aren't looking forward to starting the process with any known problems.
If you have read previous posts, you know that God was leading us to Haiti. I am not sure why things have changed, or why he lead us there in the beginning. I have been led to many wonderful blogs and have learned about awesome programs and orphanages in Haiti. I hope in the future we can be part of the work there.
Also you might remember my concern adopting from the DRC. After reading many blogs (from people either living in or very closely connected to) about adopting from the DRC I feel at ease and fully prepared to ask the right questions to make an ethical decision.
What's next?
We have our home study scheduled for September 6-7. Please be in prayer for our time with the social worker.
We will be starting to compile our dossier in a few days (along with many other forms). This process could take 3-6 months. We will then wait for our referral, which could take an estimated 1-4 months. Then we should be able to travel once and pick up our child/children 6-9 months after referral. Of course there will probably be bumps along the road!
This time frame should be much faster than Haiti. Which is exciting and scary at the same time, because that means we will have to have our money in place much quicker.
Thank you so much for following along with us on this journey!
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Uncle! Uncle!
OK, OK, I give up! I give in!
It is also unknown how the U.S. Department of State might react to Haiti’s ratification. Historically, even if the Department of State determines that a new Hague nation is not following the convention and therefore closes adoptions from that nation to U.S. Citizens, families in process – those who had filed a form I600-A – were allowed to complete their adoptions.
The Hague Permanent Bureau in their published Guidebook to Good Practices advocates gradual implementation and outlines recommended steps for this process that developing countries should take to strengthen international adoption practice but not prohibit the opportunity that inter country adoption affords to many children in need. Many countries have prematurely deposited their articles of ratification and/or implemented the Hague Treaty tenets in such a way that what was intended for child protection becomes a weapon against them. We certainly hold out great hope that Haiti may hold off on depositing their ratification until sufficient law changes have been passed in Haiti and until their social welfare system has developed the resources to accommodate a system of protection that is actually reasonable, practical and able to be implemented.
We believe this presents a unique opportunity for the poorest country in the western hemisphere to serve as a valuable model for the best way to implement Hague. We ask that all pray continuously for the Haitian leadership involved to have wisdom and discernment as they move forward.
At this time, Haitian adoptions remain open and a legal option for U.S. Citizens. ABI advises all families considering a Haitian adoption to proceed with caution as we continue to investigate Haiti’s accession to the Hague Convention and what it might mean for future adoptions from Haiti for U.S. Citizens. Families must be accepting of the risks of pursuing an adoption from Haiti. We further advise families to check the Department of State's adoption notices for current information on adoption from Haiti and any publications of Joint Council on International Children's Services regarding Haiti."
Oh the turmoil of surrendering it all to God. This is what's happening...we're all ready to hit submit with our application and getting started on other adoption paperwork, and BAM the blog world explodes with news from Haiti our chosen country.
"On June 11th, 2012, Haiti ratified the Hague Convention on Inter country
Adoption. At this time we do not know the date that Haiti will deposit the
instrument of ratification to the Hague Permanent Bureau and we do not know
whether the Hague Permanent Bureau will accept the ratification. Ninety days
after the instrument is delivered, if the Hague Permanent Bureau accepts their
packet, Haiti will become a Hague country. We have been advised that it is
possible that Haiti may hold off for a considerable period of time in depositing
their ratification. There are still many unknowns at this point and a clear
timeline of how this will unfold is impossible to foretell.
At this
time the future effects of these changes for U.S. Citizens adopting from Haiti
are unclear. An ABI representative has been told that Haiti is in favor of
continuing international adoptions and has no intention of closing the adoption
program. The current administration of IBESR looks forward to creating a better
regulated system, with improved protections in place for Haitian biological
families and children being placed for adoption. IBESR made the decision to
temporarily stop accepting new adoption dossiers until August 1, 2012, making
clear their intention to clear out their backlog of cases and to allow IBESR
administration the time to implement new policies that would strengthen their
system.It is also unknown how the U.S. Department of State might react to Haiti’s ratification. Historically, even if the Department of State determines that a new Hague nation is not following the convention and therefore closes adoptions from that nation to U.S. Citizens, families in process – those who had filed a form I600-A – were allowed to complete their adoptions.
The Hague Permanent Bureau in their published Guidebook to Good Practices advocates gradual implementation and outlines recommended steps for this process that developing countries should take to strengthen international adoption practice but not prohibit the opportunity that inter country adoption affords to many children in need. Many countries have prematurely deposited their articles of ratification and/or implemented the Hague Treaty tenets in such a way that what was intended for child protection becomes a weapon against them. We certainly hold out great hope that Haiti may hold off on depositing their ratification until sufficient law changes have been passed in Haiti and until their social welfare system has developed the resources to accommodate a system of protection that is actually reasonable, practical and able to be implemented.
We believe this presents a unique opportunity for the poorest country in the western hemisphere to serve as a valuable model for the best way to implement Hague. We ask that all pray continuously for the Haitian leadership involved to have wisdom and discernment as they move forward.
At this time, Haitian adoptions remain open and a legal option for U.S. Citizens. ABI advises all families considering a Haitian adoption to proceed with caution as we continue to investigate Haiti’s accession to the Hague Convention and what it might mean for future adoptions from Haiti for U.S. Citizens. Families must be accepting of the risks of pursuing an adoption from Haiti. We further advise families to check the Department of State's adoption notices for current information on adoption from Haiti and any publications of Joint Council on International Children's Services regarding Haiti."
Basically, this means that the country will probably try and become a Hague country sometime in the near future (In adoption world, “Hague Country” means a country that has signed, ratified,
and implemented the Hague Convention Standards for Inter country Adoption. Each
step - signing, ratification and implementation- is separate and can take years. The same thing that Tim and Jill Bruno have had to endure). Most likely we will deal with it during our adoption. As if I want to complicate an already delicate process. But, I don't really get a choice do I?
This is my problem, wanting, and needing control! So, I've been throwing a little tantrum the past week or so. Talking with family about the decision to stick with Haiti (which seems illogical to me at this point!), and all the while little Avlynne shaking her head and rolling those huge eyes at me. As if I have to listen to a 10yr old! Hmph!
I've had a feeling that I would have a lot to learn from this whole process when Stephanie the Haiti director from our agency told me that "it's not the men that usually have a hard time with the attachment, it's the mothers!" And to think, I was worrying about how William would connect with a boy.
As I was reading an update about the new information to William last night, first thing he said was "we're still going with Haiti". And that's when I stomped my feet on the ground and shook my fists at God. I told William that this was my idea, I had to encourage the family to get on board and now it's just all out of my control, and God is using THEM to confirm what I'm not sure I want to hear?! Not fair, because by the worlds standards choosing to adopt from Haiti right now while we haven't really even started the process doesn't seem like a smart move. And sometimes I just want to make a decision on my own, one that sounds good to me. And by now, my arms are folded and I just want to cry but I'm not very good at that.
And so this morning I talk with a sweet, sweet lady that is Stephanie's mother. She is filling in while Stephanie is in the DRC . A country that would be fairly easy to adopt from right now, but my heart is at unrest with. And by the end of the conversation I am in tears, because I hear myself. I hear my stingy, dirty heart. I hear myself wanting to be in control, to call the shots. She tells me that there is no rush, it's not a race. But that's exactly how I feel. Not that I want to be at the end of it already, but I do want to win the race. Because not only do I feel called to adopt, I WANT to adopt. So by winning, I mean I want the race to end with a child in my arms. I feel like if we choose Haiti, there's a chance I'll lose...
I know I'm being silly. Please don't make too much fun of me. I'll probably be like a 2 yr old that is still taking deep hiccuped breaths 20 minutes after the meltdown, one little wrong move and we'll start all over again. ;)
-Contessa
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Garage Sale Update
I apologize this post has taken me awhile to write. Yesterday I finally had the chance to deposit the cash and change from the garage sale. I was able to deposit $2,0070.00!! Wow, what a garage sale! We were absolutely blessed by the donations that came in from family friends, church members, and teachers from the girls school. We only had a small percentage of stuff left compared to what was donated. A little I have kept for an upcoming sale with friends, and the rest I have donated to The Tribe which helps local needy and homeless teens.
THANK YOU... is not enough
God was also so very faithful to bring adoptee's that were willing to share parts of their stories with me. I'm not sure if there are that many adoptive grown children in the area, but they sure made it out to the sale! I was even able to talk to a young women about hair care, and the chance to talk with her in the future about international adoption (she was adopted).
He also brought a young girl going into 6th grade to the sale. She asked to sit down because she had a headache. I asked her a few seconds later if she was feeling okay. She replied that there had been some disruption in the home the day before when her mother came home drunk, and I believe she mentioned something about the police. I REALLY struggle with what to do in these situations. I just cannot simply turn away, close my ears, and tell myself I can't or shouldn't do anything. I gave her my # on a tiny slip of paper. Is that going to change her situation? No. It breaks my heart, and reminds me why I had wanted to adopt from the U.S. in the very beginning.
Thanks to my Sunday School class for letting me share that on Sunday through a pile of tears and emotion.
I also had the chance to defend our situation to an older woman, who thought we should be adopting from the U.S. I've had those same thoughts, so I could understand where she was coming from. Of course I went into great detail about why it wasn't right for us at this time. She very matter of factly informed me that I did not need to do that, that a simple "it doesn't work at the time" would suffice. And you know what, she's right.
I am prepared for bumps along this road, and the truth is I simply do not have the time nor the relationship to explain all the answers to everyone. God is the Judge.
If you are wondering though why we chose International Adoption rather than through the U.S. here's the basic answer.
We knew we were not looking into domestic newborn adoption since we have had the privilege of bringing home 3 teenie ones already. There are plenty of mom's and dad's that are specifically looking for that experience. That left us with the option of adopting through the foster care system. Once I had spoken with a handful of agencies and they all recommended that we not disrupt our own birth order (that would mean we needed to adopt someone younger than Sable) we realized that aside from very severe needs children there weren't many who were under Sable's age. In fact the majority of children in the foster care are 6 and up. We were not comfortable with bringing in an older child from the U.S. at this time. Internationally, we would allow it since the reason these children are in orphanages is very different (for the large percentage) from the reason children in the U.S. are in the states custody.
William says let's just get through this adoption, but I could see U.S. adoption an option once our children are older. :)
So, where does this leave us? We currently have $3700.00 in the adoption fund. I expect to need $5,000 - $6,000 to get started. That would be
-$250.00 for the Love Beyond Borders application
-$2,250.00 due to LBB when we sign our agreement
-$100.00+ for background and fingerprinting
-$2,250+ - for home study, travel costs, and per diem.
And all the things that I'm not even aware of yet.
We are so close, and hopefully with the sale of the van and truck we will be there!
Thank you friends for following us on this journey.
THANK YOU... is not enough
God was also so very faithful to bring adoptee's that were willing to share parts of their stories with me. I'm not sure if there are that many adoptive grown children in the area, but they sure made it out to the sale! I was even able to talk to a young women about hair care, and the chance to talk with her in the future about international adoption (she was adopted).
He also brought a young girl going into 6th grade to the sale. She asked to sit down because she had a headache. I asked her a few seconds later if she was feeling okay. She replied that there had been some disruption in the home the day before when her mother came home drunk, and I believe she mentioned something about the police. I REALLY struggle with what to do in these situations. I just cannot simply turn away, close my ears, and tell myself I can't or shouldn't do anything. I gave her my # on a tiny slip of paper. Is that going to change her situation? No. It breaks my heart, and reminds me why I had wanted to adopt from the U.S. in the very beginning.
Thanks to my Sunday School class for letting me share that on Sunday through a pile of tears and emotion.
I also had the chance to defend our situation to an older woman, who thought we should be adopting from the U.S. I've had those same thoughts, so I could understand where she was coming from. Of course I went into great detail about why it wasn't right for us at this time. She very matter of factly informed me that I did not need to do that, that a simple "it doesn't work at the time" would suffice. And you know what, she's right.
I am prepared for bumps along this road, and the truth is I simply do not have the time nor the relationship to explain all the answers to everyone. God is the Judge.
If you are wondering though why we chose International Adoption rather than through the U.S. here's the basic answer.
We knew we were not looking into domestic newborn adoption since we have had the privilege of bringing home 3 teenie ones already. There are plenty of mom's and dad's that are specifically looking for that experience. That left us with the option of adopting through the foster care system. Once I had spoken with a handful of agencies and they all recommended that we not disrupt our own birth order (that would mean we needed to adopt someone younger than Sable) we realized that aside from very severe needs children there weren't many who were under Sable's age. In fact the majority of children in the foster care are 6 and up. We were not comfortable with bringing in an older child from the U.S. at this time. Internationally, we would allow it since the reason these children are in orphanages is very different (for the large percentage) from the reason children in the U.S. are in the states custody.
William says let's just get through this adoption, but I could see U.S. adoption an option once our children are older. :)
So, where does this leave us? We currently have $3700.00 in the adoption fund. I expect to need $5,000 - $6,000 to get started. That would be
-$250.00 for the Love Beyond Borders application
-$2,250.00 due to LBB when we sign our agreement
-$100.00+ for background and fingerprinting
-$2,250+ - for home study, travel costs, and per diem.
And all the things that I'm not even aware of yet.
We are so close, and hopefully with the sale of the van and truck we will be there!
Thank you friends for following us on this journey.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Not A Happy Day For All Mothers
As I peruse adoption blogs and writings, my heart has been transformed by the words. I'll admit, that even a short 6 months ago I didn't think about the mother that would die or someday be in the position to give up her child because of circumstances. I only thought of the orphan. For the most part, orphans in countries such as Africa and Haiti are not full to the brim because the family did not want them. No, they are at max capacity because of the overwhelming poverty and conditions of that country.
I have been thinking a lot lately about the mother that will someday become a part of my life, intertwined so deeply. We really don't give much thought about that mother or the father who lost his wife, who feels they simply cannot care for their child enough to keep them. My heart has begun to ache for them. For the siblings that are old enough to remember saying good-bye, wondering why it wasn't them. I wonder why, why was I put in the here and now. I don't even want to call it blessed anymore really. Has that mother in Haiti not been blessed because of something she did? Have I been blessed because of something I HAVE done? My mind cannot grasp why God chose me for this life and her for that one.
James 1:27
Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.
Psalm 82:3
Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.
I want to link you to some INCREDIBLE people, doing some incredible things in the lives of orphans and widows.
First off
Child Sponsorships
http://www.compassion.com/default.htm.
http://www.sixtyfeet.org/
http://www.worldvision.org/
http://kitumaini.blogspot.com/ This is a family who spent yrs in the Dominican Republic of Congo. They adopted twins and have set up a charity that runs like compassion.
http://www.internationalvoiceoftheorphan.com/ This is a wonderful family who resides in the US, they have adopted many children from all over the world. Dwight the husband leads trips to Uganda, and also diciples and trains pastors in Uganda. This is such an awesome family, and I love to keep up with their personal blog as well. http://aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com/
http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/ You've got to check out this inspired woman serving the people of Uganda. Changing lives one at a time. And here is the direct link to the sponsorship program http://www.amazima.org/sponsor.html
------->If you only choose to click on one link, please choose this one. Here is an organization that is like a hospital. They take in children and some adults, nurse them back to health and send them back to their families. The link that I am going to post is graphic. This is what malnutrition looks like. I can't seem to shake these images out of my head...http://www.realhopeforhaiti.org/?cat=4 For some reason it's not letting me link it, but just copy and paste. Go to their homepage for info on how you can donate. They are sending a container full of supplies etc to Haiti soon and they are in need of money for the shipping costs.
Let's get serious.
Hopefully I will have more answers about our own adoption within this next week. We are at that scary stage of putting it in writing and handing over money. Will you pray with us this week that we will hear clearly from God. There are so many unknowns, and that first step can be a hard one to take.
Sincerely, Contessa
I have been thinking a lot lately about the mother that will someday become a part of my life, intertwined so deeply. We really don't give much thought about that mother or the father who lost his wife, who feels they simply cannot care for their child enough to keep them. My heart has begun to ache for them. For the siblings that are old enough to remember saying good-bye, wondering why it wasn't them. I wonder why, why was I put in the here and now. I don't even want to call it blessed anymore really. Has that mother in Haiti not been blessed because of something she did? Have I been blessed because of something I HAVE done? My mind cannot grasp why God chose me for this life and her for that one.
James 1:27
Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.
Psalm 82:3
Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.
I want to link you to some INCREDIBLE people, doing some incredible things in the lives of orphans and widows.
First off
Child Sponsorships
http://www.compassion.com/default.htm.
http://www.sixtyfeet.org/
http://www.worldvision.org/
http://kitumaini.blogspot.com/ This is a family who spent yrs in the Dominican Republic of Congo. They adopted twins and have set up a charity that runs like compassion.
http://www.internationalvoiceoftheorphan.com/ This is a wonderful family who resides in the US, they have adopted many children from all over the world. Dwight the husband leads trips to Uganda, and also diciples and trains pastors in Uganda. This is such an awesome family, and I love to keep up with their personal blog as well. http://aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com/
http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/ You've got to check out this inspired woman serving the people of Uganda. Changing lives one at a time. And here is the direct link to the sponsorship program http://www.amazima.org/sponsor.html
------->If you only choose to click on one link, please choose this one. Here is an organization that is like a hospital. They take in children and some adults, nurse them back to health and send them back to their families. The link that I am going to post is graphic. This is what malnutrition looks like. I can't seem to shake these images out of my head...http://www.realhopeforhaiti.org/?cat=4 For some reason it's not letting me link it, but just copy and paste. Go to their homepage for info on how you can donate. They are sending a container full of supplies etc to Haiti soon and they are in need of money for the shipping costs.
Let's get serious.
Hopefully I will have more answers about our own adoption within this next week. We are at that scary stage of putting it in writing and handing over money. Will you pray with us this week that we will hear clearly from God. There are so many unknowns, and that first step can be a hard one to take.
Sincerely, Contessa
Monday, May 7, 2012
Info!!!
Dear Contessa,
I have just returned from Haiti, where I spoke with the Director of IBESR at length. It would appear that she is choosing to follow Haitian law precisely, and your family WOULD qualify. Please give me a call, and we can discuss.
Diana Boni
Haiti and Africa Programs Coordinator
All Blessings International
Haiti and Africa Programs Coordinator
All Blessings International
Saturday, May 5, 2012
I forgot to mention to people that if your one to get all riled up over grammar, you better leave now... ;)
Oh, and if you are starting here read the post below titled "Faith" first.
Emry is my people lover, she takes after me. She loves children, outcasts, and always remembers to shut doors and turn off the lights! Avlynne, not so much. What I am learning about Avlynne is that I better listen up when she speaks. Because likely she is speaking truth right into my life...
To back this story up a bit I need to start back last fall I guess. William and I had been discussing adoption. I have always wanted to adopt. To be honest, I have talked him into this crazy adventure. Nowadays, he's on board with trying to give a home to at least 1 out of the Millions of orphans there are in the world. I've seen the way he was with my nieces before our own children were born, I've seen the way he has treated babies and little girls that he knows are living with family members because there mothers are unfit/unable to care for them at this time. I've seen the way these children love him back... I simply cannot wait to watch him when God brings our child into our home.
OK, sorry back to the story! So I spent the next couple months really studying and trying to learn about this challenge that we wanted to pursue. Let me tell you, we haven't even technically started and it's already a challenge! Just trying to research good agencies, which country, what age of child, etc. is enough to make my head spin. You see, every country has it's own rules and regulations. Who can adopt, how long you have to be married, your age, how many children you can have. Just when I think I have found a good agency they don't work with the countries that we qualify for. And just when I find an agency that has good reviews and they have the country that we might want to work with they are no longer taking clients for that country! Ahhhhh.
So, we had narrowed it down to Haiti, Africa, or Bulgaria. China is taking up to 5-6 yrs for a healthy referral, and while you can request a special needs child faster, my heart just wasn't being led in that direction. Russia, is I think the most expensive coming in at 40,000-50,000 for an adoption and a possible 3 trips to the country. Most of the Central American countries do not have a flourishing adoption system, and most require 1 trip of 6 or more weeks of in country stay when you pick up your child.
I had contacted an agency about there Haiti program and was advised by the orphanage director in Haiti that both parents must be 35 to adopt from that country. We were a bit bummed, but kept looking at the other options. It was about that time that Avlynne and I had read the book Heaven Is For Real (awesome book by the way!). William was gone one night to the Caribou Hills. We layed in my bed together and had such a sweet conversation. It was like nothing I had ever experienced with her. We didn't talk quickly, but let each word and thought meander out slowly and allowed time to digest the thoughts. She explained how in the book the little boy talked about Jesus loving the children so much. She said to me "I just keep thinking that if Jesus loves the children so much, then we should too." I said, "yes Avlynne, we should and that is exactly why we are trying to adopt." She went on to say that she really felt like we were supposed to adopt from Haiti, she didn't know why but strongly felt like God was telling her that. I explained to her that at this time we could not, but if God wanted us to then he would make a way...
Fast forward to this last week. We still hadn't found an agency or country. I was on to some leads, but nothing concrete. A good option for us is the Democratic Republic of Congo, in Africa. We meet all the qualifications. Although, there is a lot of talk in the adoption world that there are some bad things happening in the Congo. Exploitation of children, bribes, and orphanages not making sure that parents know exactly what they are doing, etc etc. It's these same problems that have taken Ethiopia from 50 cases down to just 5 cases per day starting in March 2011. There is a possibility that we could still adopt from Congo, but we will be going in VERY cautious and keeping our eye out for these things.
Meanwhile, for over a week I had been trying to get in contact with the same agency that I had planned on using for Haiti. I felt instantly connected to them back in Jan. I wanted to talk to her about her El Salvador program. William was very excited about that country, as was I. When we finally got to chat a couple days ago, she warned me that it is a very tough process and would only encourage us to pursue that country if we felt like God was laying it on our hearts and telling us that He would open the doors. We also talked about there Congo program and some things she is wanting to change and implement. While we were speaking I told her that we had tried to do the Haiti program but I wasn't old enough. After a couple minutes she said wait, is your husband over 35? I said yes, but we were told in Jan. that both had to be 35. She went on to say that something had just been cleared up within the laws in Haiti, and that it is no longer an issue! She had just talked with the Haiti director the day before and she had clearly spelled it out. Whoa! Do you hear that door creaking open???
I have not been in contact with the Haiti director yet (apparently she is one of the best and very well known). So hopefully early next week we will have a chance to talk and see if this is a good fit for us. When I picked the girls up from school that day after talking with the agency, I asked them where they thought we should adopt from. Of course, Avlynne said Haiti right away! I let her know about the situation, and she kind of chuckles and says "I knew we were supposed to adopt from Haiti!"
I find it very coincidental that Willow was in the hospital on Wednesday and Thursday I talked with the agency. Maybe I needed a shot of faith and answered prayer.
Open your eyes, you never know who God will have speak truth and blessing into your lives.
Oh, and if you are starting here read the post below titled "Faith" first.
Emry is my people lover, she takes after me. She loves children, outcasts, and always remembers to shut doors and turn off the lights! Avlynne, not so much. What I am learning about Avlynne is that I better listen up when she speaks. Because likely she is speaking truth right into my life...
To back this story up a bit I need to start back last fall I guess. William and I had been discussing adoption. I have always wanted to adopt. To be honest, I have talked him into this crazy adventure. Nowadays, he's on board with trying to give a home to at least 1 out of the Millions of orphans there are in the world. I've seen the way he was with my nieces before our own children were born, I've seen the way he has treated babies and little girls that he knows are living with family members because there mothers are unfit/unable to care for them at this time. I've seen the way these children love him back... I simply cannot wait to watch him when God brings our child into our home.
OK, sorry back to the story! So I spent the next couple months really studying and trying to learn about this challenge that we wanted to pursue. Let me tell you, we haven't even technically started and it's already a challenge! Just trying to research good agencies, which country, what age of child, etc. is enough to make my head spin. You see, every country has it's own rules and regulations. Who can adopt, how long you have to be married, your age, how many children you can have. Just when I think I have found a good agency they don't work with the countries that we qualify for. And just when I find an agency that has good reviews and they have the country that we might want to work with they are no longer taking clients for that country! Ahhhhh.
So, we had narrowed it down to Haiti, Africa, or Bulgaria. China is taking up to 5-6 yrs for a healthy referral, and while you can request a special needs child faster, my heart just wasn't being led in that direction. Russia, is I think the most expensive coming in at 40,000-50,000 for an adoption and a possible 3 trips to the country. Most of the Central American countries do not have a flourishing adoption system, and most require 1 trip of 6 or more weeks of in country stay when you pick up your child.
I had contacted an agency about there Haiti program and was advised by the orphanage director in Haiti that both parents must be 35 to adopt from that country. We were a bit bummed, but kept looking at the other options. It was about that time that Avlynne and I had read the book Heaven Is For Real (awesome book by the way!). William was gone one night to the Caribou Hills. We layed in my bed together and had such a sweet conversation. It was like nothing I had ever experienced with her. We didn't talk quickly, but let each word and thought meander out slowly and allowed time to digest the thoughts. She explained how in the book the little boy talked about Jesus loving the children so much. She said to me "I just keep thinking that if Jesus loves the children so much, then we should too." I said, "yes Avlynne, we should and that is exactly why we are trying to adopt." She went on to say that she really felt like we were supposed to adopt from Haiti, she didn't know why but strongly felt like God was telling her that. I explained to her that at this time we could not, but if God wanted us to then he would make a way...
Fast forward to this last week. We still hadn't found an agency or country. I was on to some leads, but nothing concrete. A good option for us is the Democratic Republic of Congo, in Africa. We meet all the qualifications. Although, there is a lot of talk in the adoption world that there are some bad things happening in the Congo. Exploitation of children, bribes, and orphanages not making sure that parents know exactly what they are doing, etc etc. It's these same problems that have taken Ethiopia from 50 cases down to just 5 cases per day starting in March 2011. There is a possibility that we could still adopt from Congo, but we will be going in VERY cautious and keeping our eye out for these things.
Meanwhile, for over a week I had been trying to get in contact with the same agency that I had planned on using for Haiti. I felt instantly connected to them back in Jan. I wanted to talk to her about her El Salvador program. William was very excited about that country, as was I. When we finally got to chat a couple days ago, she warned me that it is a very tough process and would only encourage us to pursue that country if we felt like God was laying it on our hearts and telling us that He would open the doors. We also talked about there Congo program and some things she is wanting to change and implement. While we were speaking I told her that we had tried to do the Haiti program but I wasn't old enough. After a couple minutes she said wait, is your husband over 35? I said yes, but we were told in Jan. that both had to be 35. She went on to say that something had just been cleared up within the laws in Haiti, and that it is no longer an issue! She had just talked with the Haiti director the day before and she had clearly spelled it out. Whoa! Do you hear that door creaking open???
I have not been in contact with the Haiti director yet (apparently she is one of the best and very well known). So hopefully early next week we will have a chance to talk and see if this is a good fit for us. When I picked the girls up from school that day after talking with the agency, I asked them where they thought we should adopt from. Of course, Avlynne said Haiti right away! I let her know about the situation, and she kind of chuckles and says "I knew we were supposed to adopt from Haiti!"
I find it very coincidental that Willow was in the hospital on Wednesday and Thursday I talked with the agency. Maybe I needed a shot of faith and answered prayer.
Open your eyes, you never know who God will have speak truth and blessing into your lives.
Faith
Where do I start?
Before I update you with what is happening with the adoption plans I have to start with what happened Wednesday night. My niece Willow who is 7, fell on the slide last Wednesday evening. She was suffering from a concussion and was in the E.R. when my sister called about 6:30. She informed me that Willow could not remember her numbers, letters, shapes, and family. When asked to spell CAT, she spelled it MXK, and when asked to draw a square she drew a circle etc. The weird thing was, she was consistently wrong. After an hour my sister showed her MXK, and asked her what it spelled and she said CAT! It was so weird and VERY scary. When we talked with the doctor about it he said very bluntly that it was somewhat normal with the severity of her head trauma, and that there was a possibility though slim, that she could never regain full memory.
There was also a very odd conversation that I still can't figure out. She had asked who else was coming to see her. My sister asked who else she wanted to come. Willow said "that man". We asked, what man? She said "up there", and pointed to the ceiling. Shanda and I looked at each other with puzzled looks. I can't remember exactly how the whole thing went, but she went on to talk about a man with a beard and then two men. And the fact that you had to take a crystal road to get there. She also talked about River's (her sister) friend, talking about Roxanne an elderly lady who passed away years ago. I'm not saying she had a near death experience, I truly don't know what to think. I haven't had a chance to talk with her since to see if she has anything to say about it.
Of course, I had been praying while driving to the hospital and silently while I was there. There was a point about 7:45 that my sister and niece went to get Willow some food. While they were gone, I asked Willow if I could pray for her, she said "yes". When I was finished she said "thank you". She then talked about being hungry again, and I asked her what she wanted. She said Subway. She could tell me what she wanted on the sandwich, but when describing the pepperoni she said you know the square kind.
About that time Shanda came back into the room. Within a couple minutes, Willow had said something that actually made a little sense, so we questioned her more. From that point on she pretty much had full memory, and within 5 more minutes the doctor came back in and she could tell him what 12 + 12 and 24 + 24 was! She knew her age, and who everyone was.
I haven't done a ton of research on concussions, though what I have read makes it seem like that speedy of recovery is not usual, though I am not 100% sure of that. What I do know is that I am completely sure that God healed Willow right then and there. He answered my prayer about making everything "connect" right in her head.
That is where my faith comes into play, and I'm not talking about the abundance of it. I will have to continue that story in another post but this is what Avlynne had to say about it, "mom I think God did that so you would have more faith."
Before I update you with what is happening with the adoption plans I have to start with what happened Wednesday night. My niece Willow who is 7, fell on the slide last Wednesday evening. She was suffering from a concussion and was in the E.R. when my sister called about 6:30. She informed me that Willow could not remember her numbers, letters, shapes, and family. When asked to spell CAT, she spelled it MXK, and when asked to draw a square she drew a circle etc. The weird thing was, she was consistently wrong. After an hour my sister showed her MXK, and asked her what it spelled and she said CAT! It was so weird and VERY scary. When we talked with the doctor about it he said very bluntly that it was somewhat normal with the severity of her head trauma, and that there was a possibility though slim, that she could never regain full memory.
There was also a very odd conversation that I still can't figure out. She had asked who else was coming to see her. My sister asked who else she wanted to come. Willow said "that man". We asked, what man? She said "up there", and pointed to the ceiling. Shanda and I looked at each other with puzzled looks. I can't remember exactly how the whole thing went, but she went on to talk about a man with a beard and then two men. And the fact that you had to take a crystal road to get there. She also talked about River's (her sister) friend, talking about Roxanne an elderly lady who passed away years ago. I'm not saying she had a near death experience, I truly don't know what to think. I haven't had a chance to talk with her since to see if she has anything to say about it.
Of course, I had been praying while driving to the hospital and silently while I was there. There was a point about 7:45 that my sister and niece went to get Willow some food. While they were gone, I asked Willow if I could pray for her, she said "yes". When I was finished she said "thank you". She then talked about being hungry again, and I asked her what she wanted. She said Subway. She could tell me what she wanted on the sandwich, but when describing the pepperoni she said you know the square kind.
About that time Shanda came back into the room. Within a couple minutes, Willow had said something that actually made a little sense, so we questioned her more. From that point on she pretty much had full memory, and within 5 more minutes the doctor came back in and she could tell him what 12 + 12 and 24 + 24 was! She knew her age, and who everyone was.
I haven't done a ton of research on concussions, though what I have read makes it seem like that speedy of recovery is not usual, though I am not 100% sure of that. What I do know is that I am completely sure that God healed Willow right then and there. He answered my prayer about making everything "connect" right in her head.
That is where my faith comes into play, and I'm not talking about the abundance of it. I will have to continue that story in another post but this is what Avlynne had to say about it, "mom I think God did that so you would have more faith."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)