Monday, May 14, 2012

Not A Happy Day For All Mothers

       As I peruse adoption blogs and writings, my heart has been transformed by the words.  I'll admit, that even a short 6 months ago I didn't think about the mother that would die or someday be in the position to give up her child because of circumstances.  I only thought of the orphan.  For the most part, orphans in countries such as Africa and Haiti are not full to the brim because the family did not want them.  No, they are at max capacity because of the overwhelming poverty and conditions of that country. 

        I have been thinking a lot lately about the mother that will someday become a part of my life, intertwined so deeply.  We really don't give much thought about that mother or the father who lost his wife, who feels they simply cannot care for their child enough to keep them.  My heart has begun to ache for them.  For the siblings that are old enough to remember saying good-bye, wondering why it wasn't them. I wonder why, why was I put in the here and now.  I don't even want to call it blessed anymore really.  Has that mother in Haiti not been blessed because of something she did?  Have I been blessed because of something I HAVE done?  My mind cannot grasp why God chose me for this life and her for that one. 

James 1:27

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. 

Psalm 82:3

Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.

I want to link you to some INCREDIBLE  people, doing some incredible things in the lives of orphans and widows. 

First off

Child Sponsorships
  http://www.compassion.com/default.htm
  http://www.sixtyfeet.org/
http://www.worldvision.org/

http://kitumaini.blogspot.com/  This is a family who spent yrs in the Dominican Republic of Congo.  They adopted twins and have set up a charity that runs like compassion. 

http://www.internationalvoiceoftheorphan.com/  This is a wonderful family who resides in the US, they have adopted many children from all over the world.  Dwight the husband leads trips to Uganda, and also diciples and trains pastors in Uganda.  This is such an awesome family, and I love to keep up with their personal blog as well.  http://aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com/

http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/ You've got to check out this inspired woman serving the people of Uganda.  Changing lives one at a time.  And here is the direct link to the sponsorship program http://www.amazima.org/sponsor.html

------->If you only choose to click on one link, please choose this one.  Here is an organization that is like a hospital.  They take in children and some adults, nurse them back to health and send them back to their families.  The link that I am going to post is graphic.  This is what malnutrition looks like.  I can't seem to shake these images out of my head...http://www.realhopeforhaiti.org/?cat=4  For some reason it's not letting me link it, but just copy and paste.  Go to their homepage for info on how you can donate.  They are sending a container full of supplies etc to Haiti soon and they are in need of money for the shipping costs. 

Let's get serious. 

Hopefully I will have more answers about our own adoption within this next week. We are at that scary stage of putting it in writing and handing over money.  Will you pray with us this week that we will hear clearly from God.  There are so many unknowns, and that first step can be a hard one to take. 

Sincerely, Contessa




Monday, May 7, 2012

Info!!!

Dear Contessa,
I have just returned from Haiti, where I spoke with the Director of IBESR at length. It would appear that she is choosing to follow Haitian law precisely, and your family WOULD qualify. Please give me a call, and we can discuss.
Diana Boni
Haiti and Africa Programs Coordinator
All Blessings International

Saturday, May 5, 2012

I forgot to mention to people that if your one to get all riled up over grammar, you better leave now... ;)

Oh, and if you are starting here read the post below titled "Faith" first.


       Emry is my people lover, she takes after me.  She loves children, outcasts, and always remembers to shut doors and turn off the lights!  Avlynne, not so much.  What I am learning about Avlynne is that I better listen up when she speaks.  Because likely she is speaking truth right into my life...


       To back this story up a bit I need to start back last fall I guess.  William and I had been discussing adoption.  I have always wanted to adopt.  To be honest, I have talked him into this crazy adventure.  Nowadays, he's on board with trying to give a home to at least 1 out of the Millions of orphans there are in the world.  I've seen the way he was with my nieces before our own children were born, I've seen the way he has treated babies and little girls that he knows are living with family members because there mothers are unfit/unable to care for them at this time.  I've seen the way these children love him back...   I simply cannot wait to watch him when God brings our child into our home.

       OK, sorry back to the story!  So I spent the next couple months really studying and trying to learn about this challenge that we wanted to pursue.  Let me tell you, we haven't even technically started and it's already a challenge!  Just trying to research good agencies, which country, what age of child, etc.  is enough to make my head spin.  You see, every country has it's own rules and regulations.  Who can adopt, how long you have to be married, your age, how many children you can have.  Just when I think I have found a good agency they don't work with the countries that we qualify for.  And just when I find an agency that has good reviews and they have the country that we might want to work with they are no longer taking clients for that country!  Ahhhhh.

       So, we had narrowed it down to Haiti, Africa, or Bulgaria.  China is taking up to 5-6 yrs for a healthy referral, and while you can request a special needs child faster, my heart just wasn't being led in that direction.  Russia, is I think the most expensive coming in at 40,000-50,000 for an adoption and a possible 3 trips to the country.  Most of the Central American countries do not have a flourishing adoption system, and most require 1 trip of 6 or more weeks of in country stay when you pick up your child.

       I had contacted an agency about there Haiti program and was advised by the orphanage director in Haiti that both parents must be 35 to adopt from that country.  We were a bit bummed, but kept looking at the other options.  It was about that time that Avlynne and I had read the book Heaven Is For Real (awesome book by the way!).  William was gone one night to the Caribou Hills.  We layed in my bed together and had such a sweet conversation.  It was like nothing I had ever experienced with her.  We didn't talk quickly, but let each word and thought meander out slowly and allowed time to digest the thoughts.  She explained how in the book the little boy talked about Jesus loving the children so much.  She said to me "I just keep thinking that if Jesus loves the children so much, then we should too."  I said, "yes Avlynne, we should and that is exactly why we are trying to adopt."  She went on to say that she really felt like we were supposed to adopt from Haiti, she didn't know why but strongly felt like God was telling her that.  I explained to her that at this time we could not, but if God wanted us to then he would make a way...

       Fast forward to this last week.  We still hadn't found an agency or country.  I was on to some leads, but nothing concrete.  A good option for us is the Democratic Republic of Congo, in Africa.  We meet all the qualifications. Although, there is a lot of talk in the adoption world that there are some bad things happening in the Congo.  Exploitation of children, bribes, and orphanages not making sure that parents know exactly what they are doing, etc etc.  It's these same problems that have taken Ethiopia from 50 cases down to just 5 cases per day starting in March 2011.  There is a possibility that we could still adopt from Congo, but we will be going in VERY cautious and keeping our eye out for these things.

       Meanwhile, for over a week I had been trying to get in contact with the same agency that I had planned on using for Haiti.  I felt instantly connected to them back in Jan.  I wanted to talk to her about her El Salvador program.  William was very excited about that country, as was I.  When we finally got to chat a couple days ago, she warned me that it is a very tough process and would only encourage us to pursue that country if we felt like God was laying it on our hearts and telling us that He would open the doors.  We also talked about there Congo program and some things she is wanting to change and implement.  While we were speaking I told her that we had tried to do the Haiti program but I wasn't old enough.  After a couple minutes she said wait, is your husband over 35?  I said yes, but we were told in Jan. that both had to be 35.  She went on to say that something had just been cleared up within the laws in Haiti, and that it is no longer an issue!  She had just talked with the Haiti director the day before and she had clearly spelled it out.  Whoa!  Do you hear that door creaking open???

        I have not been in contact with the Haiti director yet (apparently she is one of the best and very well known).  So hopefully early next week we will have a chance to talk and see if this is a good fit for us.  When I picked the girls up from school that day after talking with the agency, I asked them where they thought we should adopt from.  Of course, Avlynne said Haiti right away!  I let her know about the situation, and she kind of chuckles and says "I knew we were supposed to adopt from Haiti!"

I find it very coincidental that Willow was in the hospital on Wednesday and Thursday I talked with the agency.  Maybe I needed a shot of faith and answered prayer.

Open your eyes, you never know who God will have speak truth and blessing into your lives.


Faith

Where do I start?

          Before I update you with what is happening with the adoption plans I have to start with what happened Wednesday night.  My niece Willow who is 7, fell on the slide last Wednesday evening.  She was suffering from a concussion and was in the E.R. when my sister called about 6:30.  She informed me that Willow could not remember her numbers, letters, shapes, and family.  When asked to spell CAT, she spelled it MXK, and when asked to draw a square she drew a circle etc.  The weird thing was, she was consistently wrong.  After an hour my sister showed her MXK, and asked her what it spelled and she said CAT!  It was so weird and VERY scary.  When we talked with the doctor about it he said very bluntly that it was somewhat normal with the severity of her head trauma, and that there was a possibility though slim, that she could never regain full memory.

        There was also a very odd conversation that I still can't figure out.  She had asked who else was coming to see her.  My sister asked who else she wanted to come.  Willow said "that man".  We asked, what man?  She said "up there", and pointed to the ceiling.  Shanda and I looked at each other with puzzled looks.  I can't remember exactly how the whole thing went, but she went on to talk about a man with a beard and then two men.  And the fact that you had to take a crystal road to get there.  She also talked about River's (her sister) friend, talking about Roxanne an elderly lady who passed away years ago.  I'm not saying she had a near death experience, I truly don't know what to think.  I haven't had a chance to talk with her since to see if she has anything to say about it.
     
      Of course, I had been praying while driving to the hospital and silently while I was there.  There was a point about 7:45 that my sister and niece went to get Willow some food.  While they were gone, I asked Willow if I could pray for her, she said "yes".  When I was finished she said "thank you".  She then talked about being hungry again, and I asked her what she wanted.  She said Subway.  She could tell me what she wanted on the sandwich, but when describing the pepperoni she said you know the square kind.

      About that time Shanda came back into the room.  Within a couple minutes, Willow had said something that actually made a little sense, so we questioned her more.  From that point on she pretty much had full memory, and within 5 more minutes the doctor came back in and she could tell him what 12 + 12 and 24 + 24 was!  She knew her age, and who everyone was.

      I haven't done a ton of research on concussions, though what I have read makes it seem like that speedy of recovery is not usual, though I am not 100% sure of that.  What I do know is that  I am completely sure that God healed Willow right then and there.  He answered my prayer about making everything "connect" right in her head.

      That is where my faith comes into play, and I'm not talking about the abundance of it.  I will have to continue that story in another post but this is what Avlynne had to say about it, "mom I think God did that so you would have more faith."